The past few months and why I quit posting!!

Its been an interesting last few months!!  My life has kinda spiraled outta control for a few months and I hoping to get it back on track starting next week!!  A list of things have transpired!!
I found out in March that I was expecting my first child a joyous occasion for Matt and I!!! SO excited to finally find out the news we had longed to hear!! I refused to tell anyone until making it 12-14 weeks to make sure things were ok!! We unfortunately found out at our first doctors appointment that I would not be having a Thanksgiving baby as planned!! I took the news very hard and fell into a depression!!  I felt hurt, lost, pissed, sad, sorry, confused and many many more emotions all at once!!!  I am still very angry about the situation but everyday!! My thoughts are why me why now!! I quit smoking, started prenatal vitamins and fish oil 5 months prior, was taking care of my body, I was married, was at a point in my life where I was physically, emotionally, and financially ready for a baby!! I then felt ashamed for being mad about people who didn't want a baby or weren't ready for a baby getting them!! I still to this day cry over the situation and am not 100 percent psyched about hearing about others getting pregnant!! I had some friends that i spoke with about the situation that cryed with me while others were very heartless and said when the times right it will happen!! SERIOUSLY I may have only had a 10 week fetus in me but it was supposed to be my first child!! Don't judge me for being upset about losing that!!!  In the process of going thru these emotions and events I then gained weight!! Alot of weight for a short period of time!! Food was my comfort and it made me feel good!! I am back to being as heavy as i was before I lost all my weight on the nutra system before I started nursing school!!  Depression still heavy over my head and now another thing to be upset about!! Throw a new job into the mix and you have a hectic life!!

Its now time to get life back on schedule!! My husband has agreed to go on a diet with me and we are gonna work on getting a good exercise regime started up!! I feel finally like a load has been lifted off of my shoulders because things are starting to look up!! I am hoping that the weight loss plan with help to get my mind off of wanting to be a mom so bad that things fall into place!! I know i am ready and would love to start our small little family but God has different plans!!

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and hopefully I have nothing but positive things in the future!! I plan to use this as a guide and check in for my weekly progress!! If anyone has any suggestions on motivational ways to work down the weight while eating healthy let me know!! I don't want to use any harsh chemicals!!