I found out a few days ago that we are getting closer to answers with all the issues on no viable pregnancies so far! I got accepted into a reproductive endocrinologist's office. Amazingly they didn't have an extended wait until they can see me!! Matt and I go for my appointment on Jan 23! I'm kinda excited and also a little bit nervous because I am not really being pessimistic but more realistic!! Matt is so optimistic for us but I have a deep down feeling that things aren't going to be as easy as they could be!! We will see!!!
More updates as soon as I get them!!
Deborah
LilySlim Weight loss tickers
Monday, January 9, 2012
Monday, December 26, 2011
Your BrEaKiNg Point......
I have questioned myself a lot this past week, How long can I go on, why does this keep happening to me, when is it that I will break down completely?
For those of you that know me My husband and I have been married for a year and 5 months, we will be at three years of being together this upcoming New years Eve. We decided a year ago yesterday that we were ready to start our family!! Such and exciting time in our lives or so I thought!! April started the downward spiral of my sanity!! A miscarriage what newly wed and first time mom wants to start out with such a horrible thing!! This was hard on us but we grew so much closer as a couple and then I decided to get healthy in hopes of things looking up!! Finally after 6 months we found out that I was pregnant again!! This was it things were different this time and I would be able to tell people i was expecting by Christmas!! Unfortunately some force of nature decided it wasnt time for us to have our family and things ended the same way and with such heartache once again!! This wasnt happening to me!! I questioned myself. What did I do wrong, did I lift too much, did I worry to much, did I physically stress myself too much..... I was distraught to find out that this was actually happening a second time!! The doctor thought that it was just another "bad luck" incident! He instructed me to take a baby asa a day incase by chance I have a clotting disorder that could be causing miscarriages!! I did and thought its ok we will bounce back things will happen I know I will become a mother soon!!
Well things arent as easy as they seem!! Unfortunately in our case THIRD time isnt always the charm!! I am completely and totally numb!! What did I do so wrong for this to happen to me!! It takes me back to the anger stage!!! Three miscarriages in a year really??!! I feel like such a failure to my husband!! The dream of being a mother well i have recently heard myself saying in conversations if I am ever able to have children! In my mind and after the horrible year we have had I have given up hope that my body will ever be able to sustain a pregnacy!! I just dont know if I can go thru this again!! I dont know where my breaking point is but I do know that it isnt far away!!
For those of you that know me My husband and I have been married for a year and 5 months, we will be at three years of being together this upcoming New years Eve. We decided a year ago yesterday that we were ready to start our family!! Such and exciting time in our lives or so I thought!! April started the downward spiral of my sanity!! A miscarriage what newly wed and first time mom wants to start out with such a horrible thing!! This was hard on us but we grew so much closer as a couple and then I decided to get healthy in hopes of things looking up!! Finally after 6 months we found out that I was pregnant again!! This was it things were different this time and I would be able to tell people i was expecting by Christmas!! Unfortunately some force of nature decided it wasnt time for us to have our family and things ended the same way and with such heartache once again!! This wasnt happening to me!! I questioned myself. What did I do wrong, did I lift too much, did I worry to much, did I physically stress myself too much..... I was distraught to find out that this was actually happening a second time!! The doctor thought that it was just another "bad luck" incident! He instructed me to take a baby asa a day incase by chance I have a clotting disorder that could be causing miscarriages!! I did and thought its ok we will bounce back things will happen I know I will become a mother soon!!
Well things arent as easy as they seem!! Unfortunately in our case THIRD time isnt always the charm!! I am completely and totally numb!! What did I do so wrong for this to happen to me!! It takes me back to the anger stage!!! Three miscarriages in a year really??!! I feel like such a failure to my husband!! The dream of being a mother well i have recently heard myself saying in conversations if I am ever able to have children! In my mind and after the horrible year we have had I have given up hope that my body will ever be able to sustain a pregnacy!! I just dont know if I can go thru this again!! I dont know where my breaking point is but I do know that it isnt far away!!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Good days bad days!!!
Sorry its been so long since i have been able to blog!! My computer crashed and I had to send it in to get it repaired!! Emotionally lately I have been ok!! Every now and again i have and off day!! Other peoples posts sometimes affect me still but i try not to let that get me down!! Sometimes its just hard!! I am really happy for those who are expecting however i still get a lil depressed!! I am 6 weeks away from original due date and for some reason i cant get that out of my head!! Hubby and I have been doing little odds and ends getting the house ready for THanksgiving which I am hosting this year!!
On a lighter note i have lost 25 pounds now!! Halfway to goal and hoping to be down 15 by the 10th of November!! Hoping to buy myself a new outfit before heading out to see Jenelle!!
Hope all have a great week!!
On a lighter note i have lost 25 pounds now!! Halfway to goal and hoping to be down 15 by the 10th of November!! Hoping to buy myself a new outfit before heading out to see Jenelle!!
Hope all have a great week!!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Week 3 1/2 check in!!!
Howdy yall,
I have been extremely busy this week worked my 4 shifts!! Census at work is down so hopefully I dont get cut any in the upcoming week!!! Things are going good with the diet!! They hubby and I are on track and have been until today!! We had lunch at church which was my supper because I had been up since working last night!! We both did good at keeping our portions in control!! I then made the hubby his favorite chicken dip for his first football sunday off!!! I had a small portion and dont feel like I over ate!! I am down 15 pounds now!! Plans for this next week is to hit the elliptical a few more times and then go swimming with the wonderful Gaige and Ashlee!!!
Spirits have been looking up for me this week!! I dont know why but I feel like something lifted a weight off of my shoulder!!! Hoping for a good week!! Gonna spend wednesday evening with mom and dad and then possibly tomorrow evening with ronda!! Hope everyone has a blessed week!!
Tomorrow is a new day and back to hitting the diet on schedule!!! :)
I have been extremely busy this week worked my 4 shifts!! Census at work is down so hopefully I dont get cut any in the upcoming week!!! Things are going good with the diet!! They hubby and I are on track and have been until today!! We had lunch at church which was my supper because I had been up since working last night!! We both did good at keeping our portions in control!! I then made the hubby his favorite chicken dip for his first football sunday off!!! I had a small portion and dont feel like I over ate!! I am down 15 pounds now!! Plans for this next week is to hit the elliptical a few more times and then go swimming with the wonderful Gaige and Ashlee!!!
Spirits have been looking up for me this week!! I dont know why but I feel like something lifted a weight off of my shoulder!!! Hoping for a good week!! Gonna spend wednesday evening with mom and dad and then possibly tomorrow evening with ronda!! Hope everyone has a blessed week!!
Tomorrow is a new day and back to hitting the diet on schedule!!! :)
Monday, September 12, 2011
Oops!!
Howdy yall,
Well due to work I missed my week 2 checkin so I am just gonna weight (lol) until the end of the week and I am at week 3 to checkin!! Its been a busy couple of weeks for me and the hubby!! The diet is going well he is doing really good!! Really missing the all you can eat shrimp at redlobster tho!! I made it to the doctor last week and the appt went well!! The doctor really seemed like he was listening and really wanted to help me!! I had some blood work done, progesterone levels, glucose testing, amenorrhea testing, and and accucheck!! I was really impressed!! He seemed ready to try clomid and provera starting this week and then the blood work came back normal which is a good thing but a bad thing for me because now he wants to wait and see how I do for 3 more months!! Im so FREAKING FRUSTERATED!!!!!!! I am sick of waiting!! Thats what i have done for the last 9 months!!! My old doctor that i had to leave due to changing insurances was ready to help us 2 months after trying!! GRRRRR!!!! I guess i just dont know what to think!!! So i guess thats it for now!! More updates later!! Hope you all have a wonderful week!!!
Well due to work I missed my week 2 checkin so I am just gonna weight (lol) until the end of the week and I am at week 3 to checkin!! Its been a busy couple of weeks for me and the hubby!! The diet is going well he is doing really good!! Really missing the all you can eat shrimp at redlobster tho!! I made it to the doctor last week and the appt went well!! The doctor really seemed like he was listening and really wanted to help me!! I had some blood work done, progesterone levels, glucose testing, amenorrhea testing, and and accucheck!! I was really impressed!! He seemed ready to try clomid and provera starting this week and then the blood work came back normal which is a good thing but a bad thing for me because now he wants to wait and see how I do for 3 more months!! Im so FREAKING FRUSTERATED!!!!!!! I am sick of waiting!! Thats what i have done for the last 9 months!!! My old doctor that i had to leave due to changing insurances was ready to help us 2 months after trying!! GRRRRR!!!! I guess i just dont know what to think!!! So i guess thats it for now!! More updates later!! Hope you all have a wonderful week!!!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Week One CHECKIN!!
Howdy yall!!
I am checking in a day early just because the next four days of my life will be work and sleep!! I have been weighing in daily as my book has a spot for me to keep track of the pounds and am happy to announce that I have lost 4 pounds!! A little motivation to keep on going!! I have been on the elliptical 3 times in the last week also!! I will prolly slack off and not get on at all during the next four days but plan on running my butt off at work!! LOL!! Matt started the diet with me yesterday and is being very positive about it!! Even tho has been joking around with me he told me he really does want to stick with this!! AWESOME!! I couldnt have a better support system!! Our first mini goal is to lose 15 pounds a peice and then we can go out to eat!! Of course we will keep our meal in check out to eat also!! Working on a more positive view of life and reading on my new book!! The Bounce Back Book!! Have a wonderful weekend everyone I am looking forward to sunday morning at 8am!!!
I am checking in a day early just because the next four days of my life will be work and sleep!! I have been weighing in daily as my book has a spot for me to keep track of the pounds and am happy to announce that I have lost 4 pounds!! A little motivation to keep on going!! I have been on the elliptical 3 times in the last week also!! I will prolly slack off and not get on at all during the next four days but plan on running my butt off at work!! LOL!! Matt started the diet with me yesterday and is being very positive about it!! Even tho has been joking around with me he told me he really does want to stick with this!! AWESOME!! I couldnt have a better support system!! Our first mini goal is to lose 15 pounds a peice and then we can go out to eat!! Of course we will keep our meal in check out to eat also!! Working on a more positive view of life and reading on my new book!! The Bounce Back Book!! Have a wonderful weekend everyone I am looking forward to sunday morning at 8am!!!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Day 3
The past few days I have worked so I was unable to post!! I have done really good with trying to start my portion controling!! Our food should arrive tomorrow so my Hubby will be joining me on the diet starting Tuesday!!! He has his fantasy football draft tomorrow so i will give him the pass to not start until then!!! Went to the grocery and got stocked up on everything I needed today so here we go!!! I am gonna start with a 30 day challange!! It started on August 25!!! I will weight in every week and hope to see a lil progress as we go!!! I also picked up and inspirational book today so TIP 1 is........Be a FORWARD Thinker!! Will check back in later this week!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)